“What is life, without a little risk?” – Sirius Black
So, here we go again, pretty much half way though November…(I’m sorry, HOW did we get here so fast??), 5 weeks away from the Christmas holidays and a rest to close off the year. In honour of that, along with the fact that I recently reached my 400th workout at the gym; I thought I would take a breath and a little look back at just how far I have come. Seriously people, even to me, all I have achieved still seems completely nuts.
Writing this bit, is honestly taking me back to the time I was a child, when every little thing I achieved was exciting, from learning to walk without my leg braces, (although I definitely missed the colour!) to discovering, much to the surprise and confusion of my parents and I that could skip with a rope. Now, don’t get me wrong, i am very aware that I have achieved A LOT between childhood and now, from travelling loads to achieving a First Class Honours Degree at University. But what i am trying to make you understand is that, as an adult I have not spent a lot of time focusing on all the things I have managed to do with my disability.
Truly, i remember going to therapy, swimming lessons and appointments religiously until I was about 12 and in my second year of Senior School. Everything is exciting when you are young, I remember being so excited about being able to walk up and down a set of wooden steps on my own for the first time. Along with freedom that was given to me whizzing around on a bicycle with stabilisers inside my therapy centre! Granted, I don’t cycle now because I believe not only that two wheeler bikes are evil, but also that because my spacial awareness is sometimes questionable, I often find myself questioning what the end result would look like…what can I say, I’m a realist.
For the longest time, despite knowing that I have come so far, I did not think I could progress or strengthen myself anymore, in my head I had done all I could, to give myself the best chance of living to the fullest with a condition like mine. I guess you could say, that for a while, it wasn’t particularly exciting, it was living, with a disability, that I had to learn to live alongside and find my excitement and growth in other ways, believe me, I did find growth and excitement and it was incredible!
Rewind to about 18 months ago, and if you remember, I took a big risk for me and rejoined the gym, just after recovering from COVID. Now, some of you will already know the above piece of information if you have been reading these for a while, and initially I joined and linked up with my personal trainer to help my mental health, but i now feel so joyful to tell you more about the unexpected progression and excitement I am still feeling in a different area, therapy, co-ordination and strength building. I am talking to you about this after successfully thrown 12 kg medicine ball slams for the first time today, i can not explain to you in words how happy that made me, because I am so aware of all the patience, adaptations, balance, power and strength I had to put my body through to get there.
This stuff is even more exciting because, for those of you who know me (and for those of you who don’t), you will have learned that i don’t have the best centre of balance all of the time. Being able to throw 12 kg of weight has show me how much things are improving and strengthening which is pretty cool.
I am also incredibly grateful to my friend and trainer for reintroducing elements of therapy and co-ordination into my training plan. Being able to focus on connecting my brain and body with exercises is something I had forgotten I could find intriguing, exciting and joyful. You would have loved seeing me at the gym the other day, I was smiling like such a child after using an Agility ladder for the first time. I am not going to lie to you, it was not the fastest journey down the ladder, but I was so proud of being able to focus and control my co-ordination just enough to step and out of each of the rungs, using both legs, successfully. Not only that, but I have also developed an interesting relationship with the Ski Erg, to be clear, I have no intention of EVER finding myself at the top of an actual mountain with a set of real skis and i am okay with that. But slowly, learning and building up the core strength and balance to use the Ski Erg in the gym setting has been an adventure and a great thing, knowing that i can pull using the movement of ski poles whilst staying steady and balanced most of the time is incredibly powerful. The joy of discovering box step ups has also been quite a journey, who knew that stepping up and down on a box could be so fulfilling? Knowing all the work I (or we, really) have been doing in the gym has been paying off is awesome, especially when you can see that your co-ordination and balance is improving enough for the box step ups to be relatively smooth most of the time.
Now, you see, all the things I have just told you is amazing, and I am very proud, but was it successful every time? Absolutely not! Have I tried box step ups and nearly flown off the side of the box? Yes. Have i pulled too hard on the Ski Erg wires and lost my balance? Yes. Did I catch my foot in the agility ladder and get tangled? Yep that too. I’m pretty sure that each time it didn’t go exactly like we planned and i almost went flying or nearly fell over, I gave my trainer a minor heart attack. I like to think though, it is all a part of the adventure and the fun, making the successes all the more brilliant.
I guess that what I am trying to say, with this particular ramble is to celebrate your milestones, no matter how small, because you never know what excitement and unexpected joys you might find on your way. You have come so far from where you started and your relationship with yourself is ever changing. Keep growing, learning and taking risks.
Be excited about life my darlings, always.
All the love,
Lucy 🙂
Cerebral Palsy and me - Life through Lucy's eyes 