Cerebral Palsy, I have learned so much from you.

Dear Cerebral Palsy,

I am sitting in my bed right now trying hard to write my first ever letter to you. Sorry if you think it’s taken too long, but you know how life can get. For the last 20 years or so we have co-existed and you have been a shadow standing by my side. I’m going to be totally honest, even now I don’t fully understand how you came to be in my life, as far can understand it life was pretty standard until you dropped in just after I turned 3 and forced the start of our relationship.

Routines had to be established pretty quickly once you had made yourself known, because although to be fair you wouldn’t have known it at the time but my parents had to change their already challenging circumstances to accommodate me and my new needs. Therapy seemed to improve and bring understanding into our relationship and swimming lessons seemed to let you sleep and I feel free from you, albeit only for a brief time.

You and I spent a lot of our time creating armour for my legs to prepare for when we entered the daily battle of walking – I need you to know that I am grateful for the protection because even as a young child you helped me find joy in the most unlikely places, the colours and patterns wrapped around my legs with Velcro made me feel safe and powerful, whilst the eye patch that your presence introduced me to helped understand that I could be anything I liked if I kept fighting.

I’m not going to lie to you kid, growing up with you consistently hovering was not easy, I spent a lot of my young life knowing that you were around me but not really knowing what you were, this made the constant stares, gasps and giggles when I hobbled along or fell over all more difficult to stomach because I just wanted to function and play like everyone else. Now Cerebral Palsy, don’t get me wrong, I know am lucky because you let me walk and I will always be thankful for that small victory that let me do so much.

I remember vividly the overwhelming amount of care and support that I encountered because you were part of my existence and I understood as I grew older that all the extra SEN lessons for sewing and drawing where you often pushed me to my limits actually taught me how we could form a team and function alongside one another. I will be forever grateful for all the positive people who invested so much time and passion into my progression, they are invaluable to me.

I now know exactly what you are and I have learned that although you sometimes make life a little challenging I will never let the bad days you raise your head stop me from reaching my full potential.

I suppose through all this I just wanted to thank you, because even though you are less prominent in my adult life your companionship has driven the way I live my life and care for the children with whom I spend so much time. I like think that when I graduated with my first class honours degree you were there at the ceremony as elated and proud as I was. The point is, until now I wasn’t sure how I felt about you. But I can now say that you have taught me to take care when I choose my friends, you taught to celebrate difference and see each individual as special and unique in their own way. Thank you for showing me that I can do things even when I didn’t believe they were possible. You have made me stronger and you are a large part of the reason why I have become who I am.

All the pain and tears have been totally worth it, I will never question why you are in my life. Cerebral Palsy, I do not regret anything we have been through and I am pretty excited for our future.

All the love,

Lucy J